The 'It' has a name: Elsie

~~ The first time i saw it..it was definitely memorable.definitely etched in my mind.how i found it.how i took it.how i tried it.with whom it was.where it was.where its exact position.how it felt against the touch of my palm.how it felt as it slid onto my shoulder.how i felt when i had to put it back..

~~yes. i had to put it back. with a heavy heart, heavy sigh, and with heavy footsteps, i left.

~~yes. i couldnt stop thinking about it.i just couldnt!!haunting me, killing me softly..but i couldnt have it.couldnt afford to..not yet at least, i thought. "After 1 month adora, it will be within your grasp.." again i thought..

~~day in, day out, i work. and thats all i can do.because only work can bring me to it. so, i have to work! no choice, and also..no desire to let it slip from my hand. it will be mine!

~~*ponders to the day i first saw it *

~~it was gleaming proudly as it hung way above everyone. it was black as the night. yet it shone to me, directing a path, leading me, trance-like, straight to it..i touched it the first time.and..wow.it felt cold, but not at all unfriendly.. it's skin gleams under the light, and as i touched its skin, it took on my fingerprints, as if already succumbing itself to me..i 'owned' it. it's mine..or will be mine, soon.

~~every day&night i thought about it, i dreamt about it..but i never talked about it out in the open, to anyone. save for a few people..i just couldnt risk telling everyone about it! that will be just like me handing over my prized dream to someone, who would then own and flaunt it under my nose!

~~yes. im a jealous freak. and a selfish one at that!

~~Only a few knew about it. the few whom i know for sure wouldnt 'steal' it from me. not that i have it, to begin with..but can you blame me?? an innocent girl, longing for her heart's deepest pleasure and dream..ahh at times i feel ashamed of this desire..

~~as days turn into weeks, the urge became stronger. but i had to silence it! tell myself repeatedly, calm myself, that one sweet day, it will be mine to have and to hold. and surprisingly, that one sweet day was nearer than i thought..

~~on Saturday 19th April 2008, i got my black beautiful M&S handbag, Elsie. thank you!